Whenever I encounter someone who is looking for specific “how to” action oriented marriage advice, I always tell them to go sign up for Mort Fertel’s FREE newsletter because Mort has some really solid material on this type of information that involves “what to DO and SAY” when your marriage is in trouble.

All of Mort’s teachings and programs have my absolute HIGHEST recommendation because not only are they completely in line with all the concepts that I teach, but I have personally spoken to NUMEROUS men and women who have gone through his programs and gained a sense of relief in their marriage as a result.

(This, coming from someone who generally doesn’t recommend other people in the marriage help business.)

If you’ve read any of the articles I’ve published on the web, you know that I developed my programs and teachings based on the insights I used to transform my own (formerly) miserable marriage of 27 years.

And much like myself, saving marriages is also something very personal for Mort.

But I’ll let Mort tell you his story in his own words below through the following article written by Mort himself.

This way, you’ll have a chance to “sample” some of his teachings for yourself and understand where Mort’s unique motivation for helping couples really comes from. (HINT: It’s NOT a textbook!)

A SURPRISING SOLUTION TO YOUR MARITAL PROBLEMS

If you’re reading an article about how to improve your marriage, you’re probably expecting to learn problem-solving strategies, communication techniques, and insights about gender differences. Do I have a SURPRISE for you!

The key to renewing your marriage is none of those things.

How do I know this? Because I experienced it!

Hi, my name is Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness, and unlike other relationship experts who approach the topic from a clinical perspective, for me marriage renewal is very personal. I’d like to share with you my story.

My wife and I started out deeply in love. I remember staying up all night talking, surprising each other with thoughtful gifts, and speaking to each other in code words. You know the feeling of really being connected? That was us.

But then something happened that destroys most marriages. We had a son who died when he was just one week old. And then we had twin daughters, who also died as newborns.

Understandably, my wife became depressed. I coped by immersing myself in work. We ran from each other emotionally.

Your situation probably was not so tragic, but something happened. What was it? How did you lose each other? Maybe you can’t put your finger on it, but things just aren’t the same, right?

For us, after losing 3 children, everything felt different. Instead of talking all night, it was a chore to talk for a few minutes. Instead of using our code words, we used curse words. Our relationship consisted of screaming matches and silent treatments.

Somewhere deep in our heart though, like you, we knew we didn’t want to lose each other. So we made a commitment to work on our marriage. Sometimes I tried and my wife didn’t. Sometimes my wife tried and I didn’t. We went through different stages of “trying.”

What did we try?

We tried the obligatory, “Honey, let me repeat what you said to make sure I understood you correctly.” We applied conflict resolution strategies. My wife learned about Mars and I learned about Venus. We even went to therapy to wrestle with our problems. But guess what. Nothing changed. Nothing worked.

All the advice we got (books, counselors, CD’s, whatever) asked us to face our problems. But that just made us feel worse. And fight more.

Then we had a breakthrough.

We decided to SET ASIDE OUR PROBLEMS and try to CONNECT with each other.

We used “POSITIVE relationship exercises” that transformed our marriage. Not only did we resolve our differences, we fell in love again! And we did it—not by dealing with our problems (as serious as they were)—but by establishing HEALTHY HABITS that brought positive energy to our relationship.

This is the solution to most marital situations! Believe it or not, the secret is to STEP AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS and SPEND YOUR TIME AND ENERGY building your relationship through POSITIVE ACTIONS.

It’s counter intuitive, but if you strengthen your relationship, most of your problems will dissipate and what remains of them can be more easily resolved in a safer, softer, and more forgiving marital environment.

Before you deal with your problems, you first have to build good will with each other.

If your marriage is stressed, do NOT tackle your problems. If your timing is off, trying to solve problems with your spouse will damage your marriage and make it LESS LIKELY that you’ll ever find resolution.

If you have lower-back problems, sometimes the solution is to do sit-ups. Strengthening one part of your body can heal another. Your marriage works in a similar way.

Now you can see why my system for relationship renewal, Marriage Fitness, is fundamentally different from any other approach to relationship success. It’s not about conflict-resolution or communication skills because these are NOT the key to renewing a marriage. The key is NOT to fix what’s wrong. The key is to make new things right.

And there are, in fact, specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to make things right in your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable—you can “make” love.

Marriage Fitness offers you a step-by-step system to make and maintain love in your marriage. The program works for any marriage even if only one spouse does it. And the best news is that you don’t have to dig into your past, dredge up your problems, or practice communication techniques. This is not marriage counseling; it’s Marriage Fitness.

CLICK HERE to receive the FREE breakthrough report “7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage,” a FREE confidential marriage assessment, and FREE information about the Marriage Fitness system of relationship renewal.

Warm regards,

Mort Fertel
Author of Marriage Fitness
Marriage Coach

I hope this article has helped to “open your eyes” about what most marriage counselors actually ADVISE you to do - FOCUS on your problems.

Focusing on your problems will only bring you…that’s right…MORE problems. The key is pursuing marriage EDUCATION so you can start doing positive things for your marriage.

I strongly suggest you take a moment and sign up for Mort’s free report and e-help series that includes some of the following insights:

* 5 marriage assessments
* “I love you but I’m not IN LOVE with you.”
* How to get your spouse to change
* How to get over the past (and past the hurt)
* How to stop a divorce
* How to avoid a separation
* How to spoil their affair
* How to increase your marriage IQ
* How to forgive and be forgiven
* And 35 other marriage crisis solutions

Once again, you can sign up for that e-help series HERE.

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When your marriage is in trouble, every second that goes by is a moment your spouse could be slipping away from you both emotionally and physically.

You need a way to reverse the effects of what happened in your marriage to bring you to the point where you find yourself now - and you need it fast.

And of all the different methods and concepts I teach, over the years I’ve found that the Invisible Lifestyle is by far the most eye-opening of all to couples.

So today I’d like to share this free video I created that will help you pick up the pieces of your relationship and create a much deeper partnership with your spouse.

But this time, you’ll be looking at your spouse in a whole new light because you’ll understand WHY…your spouse is so sensitive to yelling, WHY…your spouse gets upset when you spend money, or WHY….your spouse hates conflict so much.

Whatever your “hot button” issues are, you need to uncover the SOURCE of these issues instead of dealing with the SYMPTOMS.

This video will show you how…

Why You Fight: Discover Your Invisible Lifestyle Today

If the video below WILL NOT play on your computer, CLICK HERE to download the video to your computer. (Right click on the link and then choose save as.)

This should resolve that issue, but please allow the video enough time to download because it is a large file.

If you have any questions about the video, please post them in the “share your feedback with Larry” comment section right under this post and I will personally respond to them.

Now what you might need right now is some direction about what to do and what to say to your spouse. These “outward actions” are not what my main focus is all about.

I focus on internal teachings like eliminating your negative feelings and uncovering the hidden programs from your childhood that are causing the two of you to clash in everyday life. Because that’s my focus, I don’t spend much time on marriage techniques and advice.

But there is one person who DOES focus on outward, behavior based teachings like what to do in various situations or what to say - and nobody teaches this better than Mort Fertel.

Because Mort’s teaching style and beliefs about marriage are very similar to my own, I often suggest that my own students subscribe to Mort’s newsletter and go through his courses since they are so complementary to my programs and teachings.

And that’s why I want you to take a close look at what Mort Fertel is doing in the marriage how-to department.

If you’re not familiar with Mort, he teaches individuals how to single-handedly transform their marriage.

Mort’s program is called Marriage Fitness and like me, he has a version for couples and a version for one spouse who wants to learn when their spouse is not willing to participate.

The Marriage Fitness program is built on a uniquely structured Tele-Boot Camp where couples and individual spouses talk about marriage issues over conference calls on a monthly basis.

Mort’s method is to get people focused on filling themselves with positive activity and ideas and I absolutely endorse that.

The Marriage Fitness approach has been featured in Family Circle, Psychology Today and the Ladies Home Journal.

In addition to a great deal of media attention, Mort’s program has been endorsed by marriage counselors, therapists and relationship experts including John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus, and Dr. Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

But above all else, Mort has helped save thousands of marriages.

I sincerely believe that the techniques Mort teaches and his how-to advice about building a strong marriage is a perfect fit whether you want to be the one who leads your spouse as an example or if both of you are working together to restore your marriage.

Mort’s Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp includes 7 Tele-Seminars, a 15 CD home learning system, 3 open mike Q&A teleconferences a 1-on-1 private phone session with Mort himself and more.

I strongly suggest you have a look at the solutions Mort Fertel has created for struggling couples (and individuals) just like you.

As a first step in learning about Mort Fertel, I’d highly encourage you to sign up for Mort’s FREE email series to discover more ways to turn your marriage around. Along with the free email series, you’ll also receive a FREE relationship assessment, no strings attached.

So right now, take a moment to follow this link and sign up for Mort’s FREE email series.

Over 100,000 people a year subscribe to his free e-zine which is a good indication of the quality of content he delivers.

Hopefully you will pursue some of the options I’ve outlined for you today in this post instead of giving up hope on your marriage prematurely. Far too often, couples give up hope on their family when their spouse hasn’t reached their “breaking point” yet.

Don’t let this happen to you.

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